Relapse

By Mac Guerreiro And just like that,It feels like it’s all gone,The painstaking work on becoming okay with the image in the mirror,It’s all disappeared,To where eye’m unsure,But it’s left me raptured,Weak,Questioning,Avoiding my reflection,Forcing my way through interactions,Eye just want it to stop,Eye want the work eye cultivated to come back,Eye want to be okay …

Aftershocks

By Mac Guerreiro As eye heard you mention how it affects you eye couldn’t hold it in any longer because the voices that keep me on edge affecting you add more voices to the cacophony. The one running rampant in my brain, the one that eye can’t turn off but can’t disobey. Yes eye know …

Still

By Mac Guerreiro Stand still and clench your jaw till it hurts,Stand still because you don’t have words,The words you have will only detonate,The words you have will only push him away,Stand still and crawl out of your skin,Stand still because you’re scared of losing,Losing it all,Losing him,He says impossible but damn don’t you wanna …

Rabbit Hole

By Mac Guerreiro Snip snip,Slip slip,Be careful now,A minor attachment to a little thought,And you’re going down,Down down,Into the rabbit hole,The one that threatens to steal your soul,One self hating thought,That’s all it takes,And you’re on your way,Down,Down,When eye finally reach the bottom,Will it make a sound?

Searching

By Mac Guerreiro She’s searching for grace,The grace she can rarely give herself,The grace that would have helped,The grace that never came,And was replaced by shame,She searches for it,She doesn’t know it,But when she finds it she holds on,She tries to learn before it’s gone.

Unpopular

By Mac Guerreiro Eye learned something recently and it’s that when a person is rejected by their peers in their formative years the nervous system registers that as pain… physical pain. Yes, the exclusion leaves you feeling pain. For me that pain sits in my heart. It’s sat there from the moment eye first felt …

Hard Learning

By Mac Guerreiro Eye should have known better,Eye can honor that,Eye supposed eye just didn’t expect it,For your limited views of something to obscure your knowledge of me,The years of friendship,Of growing,Of learning,Of being ourselves unapologetically,It’s clear now,Because you felt the need to clarify,As if who eye am wasn’t enough,Enough to let you know that …

Weak

By Mac Guerreiro Sometimes eye wish you didn’t read this,Eye’d be spared some feelings of people pleasing,Eye’d be free of thoughts that keep me from writing,Writing the stuff that sucks,The stuff eye only write when it won’t remain inside,Because Eye’m dramatic,Eye always have been,When every emotion is so big this happens,Then tac on the neglect,Drama,How …

Stay

By Mac Guerreiro Eye’ve never wanted to run so badly,As you lay asleep next to me,Eye’m my own worst enemy.

Shadows

By Mac Guerreiro Sometimes this all feels temporary yet more temporary than most things,Sometimes it feels like borrowed time,Sweet, sweet time it is yet borrowed nonetheless,Voices shyly whisper in the depths, reminding me of my fears,Their whispers let me know Eye’m not here,Burrowed in my head eye come up for air, yet Eye’m still neck-deep …