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The Journey of Anahata

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye thought my throat was blocked,
My indigo center cut off,
Eye thought,
It was to my surprise that my throat is fine,
She’s a light,
Guiding my heart towards her,
For my heart is the one,
Stuck listening to the same drum,
An old song,
That sings of betrayal,
Of danger,
Of loss,
She holds on to all of the costs,
The injuries suffered,
Created and given alike,
She struggles to find the light,
In a space of wanting to grow,
And being terrified,
So eye validate her past,
And show her the present,
That eye have power she never imagined,
That eye can protect what eye couldn’t before,
That her fire can grow for it won’t be ignored,
For Eye’m a steward to that flame,
And slowly but surely she sets my world ablaze,
Melting the stitches,
Present for so long,
Leaving silver scars,
Making patterns derived from the Unknown,
In kintsugi fashion she comes back to life,
And eye let her in her own time.
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Always

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye am calling,
Do you hear me?
Eye am calling,
Through my waters,
My skies,
In the birds’ cries,
Eye call to You,
To sniff every flower,
To enjoy every one of my showers,
Be it warm in your home,
Or standing on my ground,
Eye call you to breathe in every sound,
Every sight,
Both mine and what’s projected in your mind’s eye,
Feel every touch,
And with it feel yourself clutch,
To the body you chose,
For eye can help You transpose,
The frequencies you brought from the great unknown,
To this being you call home,
Through my mountains,
My seas,
My forests,
My gentle breeze,
Eye remind you of your soul,
Of turning lead into gold,
Using the Phoenix fire that is your heart,
You turn your hardships into art,
And find me in your truest parts,
Recognize that we are the same,
My hurricanes reminiscent of your worst days,
My showers,
Macro versions of your cries,
Eye am you through different eyes,
As is all that surrounds,
Eye am calling always,
Answer me when you’re ready to be found.
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Eye Refuse

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye don’t understand,

Eye can’t understand,

Eye refuse to,

How one can can hurt void of remorse and walk free,

Although that seems to be the history,

In all honesty,

Well when does it stop?

When the souls of his victims begin to rot from inside?

Because the one who harmed them gets to roam outside?

With support from so many others who turn a blind eye,

It’s come to a time in which eye can’t separate my pain from theirs,

This could happen to any of us,

Anywhere,

Yet no one seems to care,

Not enough to say enough,

Not enough to put in effort,

Not enough to hold canceling to its name,

Well eye refuse to be the same,

Some will look at me with disdain,

A mocking glance at best,

Because on this topic eye refuse to rest,

Woman were hurt,

Are being hurt,

Are being SCARRED,

Because as a society we’re cowards,

So mock me,

Call me stupid,

Do whatever you’re gonna do,

Meanwhile eye’ll keep fighting for this world to be safe for #metoo.

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Free

By Mac Guerreiro

To see you this way,

Your body barely able to carry your weight,

It makes me wish to say,

“It’s okay,

You can go now,

Be on your way”

You taught me so much,

Taught us,

Taught us how to love,

It seems that you all do that,

You choose your students,

And along for the ride we go,

What a hell of a ride it is,

To have intertwined my life with his,

Till the day when the lessons are learned,

When our road is done,

And off you are to be One,

Your chosen form never gone,

Because in our hearts you live on,

Eye thought it would be harder because you’re going away,

Eye see now,

It’s harder to watch you stay,

But it’s just one more day,

One more night,

Thank you for waiting for me before taking flight,

Eye will always carry your light,

Within me it glows,

Through my actions it shows,

Eye’m so grateful to have been one of the ones you chose.

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Anxious Insight

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye’m starting to see,

Eye’m starting to see how this isn’t about me,

How a trail of hurt has left you scarred,

How for you this “relationship thing” is already hard,

Eye’ve been feeling wronged,

Because if roles were flipped forgiveness would have already been a given,

Bringing you closer to me once again would have been the only decision,

But the thing is that eye can see who you are,

Even in moments when eye feel that we’re apart,

And then eye check myself and ask,

“What is the image in the mirror he is holding?”

He shows me the unforgiving ice queen,

The aspect in me who can only see,

A reject or be rejected scenario,

And it’s then that my heart softens just a little,

Eye can understand what might be his intention,

In spite of the hurt from not being extended any compassion,

And the sting of not being given a well-deserved benefit of the doubt,

All of the anger is gone

And eye’m left with just the undeniable void that forms when his energy opts out,

It sits in my chest like a vacuum of sorts,

And eye feel trapped because reaching out is a last resort,

You see,

We’re not so different after all,

When eye feel rejected like this,

It takes monumental happenings to push me to make the first call,

That’s not to say eye’m not an ever-shifting ball of anxiety,

One moment fine,

The next curled up and crying,

Hoping the phone will ring and it’ll be him calling,

And eye know that eye’d come running,

Even not knowing what the best option could be,

Getting close again would be my first priority,

As eye write eye can’t help but see,

How the knowing that he’ll read this is impacting me,

Feeling more vulnerable than usual,

Eye’ll tap the final keys,

Eye hope eventually even in anger and rage,

You figure out a way to see me.

Featured

Sisters

By Mac Guerreiro

There used to be many of us,

Eye supposed we are all still here,

Merely disconnect by ignorance and fear,

But not merely,

Our disconnection has caused destruction,

It is mirrored in the calloused way many regard the Mother,

Picking her flowers and polluting her waters,

Killing her young and ancient alike,

Asking that this cease isn’t enough,

Because the problem lies within us,

Within the sisterhoods that we’re swallowed by time,

Swallowed by crimes,

Crimes of men whom feared the power,

The power deriving from the ultimate flower,

Unaware that this power wants to be shared,

Shared with the masculine that proves to be grown,

The one whom can hold his own and provide space,

Space for her energy to glow,

Flow and grow,

The ancient ones knew,

They provided red tents for us during our moons,

Brought us food and provided protection,

In exchange for the magic connection,

One we must reignite,

By joining hands in shadow and in light,

The integration begins when the sisters reunite.

Late Night Musing

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye have this theory that watching recent children’s movies is immensely healing for my inner child and in some cases my own generational trauma. The amount of tears and feelings that they elicit within me both due to content matter and the pure fact that something this meaningful is out there for kids and adults to learn from is overwhelming at times. Tears are healers as they hold cellular memory and to cry is to release energy be it old or new. Nothing gets my deepest tears out like Moana, Encanto, Soul, Inside Out, Trolls and as of late Turning Red.

Aftershocks

By Mac Guerreiro

As eye heard you mention how it affects you eye couldn’t hold it in any longer because the voices that keep me on edge affecting you add more voices to the cacophony. The one running rampant in my brain, the one that eye can’t turn off but can’t disobey. Yes eye know the disarray, eye know it well. If it affects you like this, imagine what it is to be at its center. To be the one the voices are yelling at. Eye couldn’t take it anymore because eye already feel crazy in those moments. Crazy, neurotic, most of all unlovable. Never mind the thoughts that say “see, if you can’t stop being this way he’ll leave for sure. He’s saying he’d rather you not be together if you can’t be yourself” and eye retort “but this isn’t what eye want. Eye don’t want to be this way… eye didn’t ask for this anxiety. Eye’m trying my best…. Eye know it’s not enough…” The voices come back strong, strong and cold “it doesn’t matter, this is what you are, maybe what you’ll always be.” Eye am frozen, wanting to cry, wanting to breathe harder, wanting… Wanting to be held, told it’s okay. That eye am not unlovable or insufferable. That eye can work through this over time. By the time the apology comes eye’m too far gone. Rolling away with the aftershock of the triggering interaction. Feeling so awful about myself for having triggered you with my crazy. All eye can think is “how can anyone love me?”

An Encounter

By Mac Guerreiro

The elven creature tapped her forefinger to my third eye and a gust of air engulfed the both of us moving outward and around simultaneously. The wisdom poured in: lifetimes of strife, of love, of experience moved into my very cells. Their membranes taking in the energy as a pool of water when provoked.

In that moment eye knew… it would be okay. It would be. Her smile reassured me, her hug felt like home. Not a home eye’ve ever known yet home all the same. Adira is her name with her dress made of vines and translucent hair entwined in flowers. She reminded me of my power. Eye suppose that’s what guides are for.

*Inspired by an experience with the Spirit Guide Meditation by Teal Swan*

Lighter

By Mac Guerreiro

The world has felt kinder,
The breath has felt easier to inhale,
The words have fallen with more levity,
Today it all feels heavy,
My body,
My mind,
My heart,
The tears seem to be the only ones,
That find effortlessness,
As they edge the corners of my eyes,
Some well over,
Others retreat,
All with ease,
Eye envy them with a fire,
For eye would do nearly anything to feel lighter.

Expansion

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye’ve been absent for a bit,
That’s happened from time to time,
For this blog is only one small side,
Of this career eye’m manifesting,
Thank you for reading my words,
For following along,
For holding space for my hard feelings and thoughts,
This isn’t goodbye,
It’ll never be,
Simply a warning,
That consistency with this blog isn’t my priority,
Some day eye hope to make it so,
For now eye need to grow,
And the signs have been clear,
Damn my brother for calling it,
But thank you to him too,
It’s time to nurture my YouTube!



Dear Reader,

It would bring me great joy to have you check me out on YouTube and Instagram, search “Embodying Mystical Mac.”

Thank you for your support.

Eye’ll be back to blog again in time, when it feels right 😉

Testing Grounds

By Mac Guerreiro

Slide,
As low as you can,
Eye’ll remain where eye am,
And the effort it takes is no joke,
But what good would it do if eye spoke?
The courage is lacking,
The honesty even more so,
Missing both is a recipe for stunting growth,
When growth is the name of my game,
That kind of energy can drive me insane,
And it has,
But now we’re done with that,
Time to let go of the past.

Waves

By Mac Guerreiro

It hits me fast and hard,
“How fucking lucky are you?”
And eye am,
SO SO SO,
Blessed,
The love in my life is the best,
From all fronts,
No questions asked,
And it hit me again,
Something new,
Something eye hadn’t seen,
The love is just mirroring me,
And eye couldn’t stop crying,
Tears of all kinds from all sides,
The broken spirit of my infancy,
The teen whom never felt seen,
The seven year-old who just wanted to share her art,
My heart,
It comes in waves,
Someday this feeling will stay.

N8

By Mac Guerreiro

You laugh when Eye’m myself,
You admit you need my help,
You enjoy all that eye am,
Even when eye can’t,
You show me what it is to grow,
You remind me that you know,
Just how capable eye can be,
Of keeping you beside me,
A reminder eye need more often than eye’d like,
You don’t judge me,
You just hold my light,
In your strong and gentle hands,
Thank you for being my man.
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