Eye Refuse

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye don’t understand,

Eye can’t understand,

Eye refuse to,

How one can can hurt void of remorse and walk free,

Although that seems to be the history,

In all honesty,

Well when does it stop?

When the souls of his victims begin to rot from inside?

Because the one who harmed them gets to roam outside?

With support from so many others who turn a blind eye,

It’s come to a time in which eye can’t separate my pain from theirs,

This could happen to any of us,


Yet no one seems to care,

Not enough to say enough,

Not enough to put in effort,

Not enough to hold canceling to its name,

Well eye refuse to be the same,

Some will look at me with disdain,

A mocking glance at best,

Because on this topic eye refuse to rest,

Woman were hurt,

Are being hurt,

Are being SCARRED,

Because as a society we’re cowards,

So mock me,

Call me stupid,

Do whatever you’re gonna do,

Meanwhile eye’ll keep fighting for this world to be safe for #metoo.



By Mac Guerreiro

To see you this way,

Your body barely able to carry your weight,

It makes me wish to say,

“It’s okay,

You can go now,

Be on your way”

You taught me so much,

Taught us,

Taught us how to love,

It seems that you all do that,

You choose your students,

And along for the ride we go,

What a hell of a ride it is,

To have intertwined my life with his,

Till the day when the lessons are learned,

When our road is done,

And off you are to be One,

Your chosen form never gone,

Because in our hearts you live on,

Eye thought it would be harder because you’re going away,

Eye see now,

It’s harder to watch you stay,

But it’s just one more day,

One more night,

Thank you for waiting for me before taking flight,

Eye will always carry your light,

Within me it glows,

Through my actions it shows,

Eye’m so grateful to have been one of the ones you chose.


Anxious Insight

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye’m starting to see,

Eye’m starting to see how this isn’t about me,

How a trail of hurt has left you scarred,

How for you this “relationship thing” is already hard,

Eye’ve been feeling wronged,

Because if roles were flipped forgiveness would have already been a given,

Bringing you closer to me once again would have been the only decision,

But the thing is that eye can see who you are,

Even in moments when eye feel that we’re apart,

And then eye check myself and ask,

“What is the image in the mirror he is holding?”

He shows me the unforgiving ice queen,

The aspect in me who can only see,

A reject or be rejected scenario,

And it’s then that my heart softens just a little,

Eye can understand what might be his intention,

In spite of the hurt from not being extended any compassion,

And the sting of not being given a well-deserved benefit of the doubt,

All of the anger is gone

And eye’m left with just the undeniable void that forms when his energy opts out,

It sits in my chest like a vacuum of sorts,

And eye feel trapped because reaching out is a last resort,

You see,

We’re not so different after all,

When eye feel rejected like this,

It takes monumental happenings to push me to make the first call,

That’s not to say eye’m not an ever-shifting ball of anxiety,

One moment fine,

The next curled up and crying,

Hoping the phone will ring and it’ll be him calling,

And eye know that eye’d come running,

Even not knowing what the best option could be,

Getting close again would be my first priority,

As eye write eye can’t help but see,

How the knowing that he’ll read this is impacting me,

Feeling more vulnerable than usual,

Eye’ll tap the final keys,

Eye hope eventually even in anger and rage,

You figure out a way to see me.



By Mac Guerreiro

There used to be many of us,

Eye supposed we are all still here,

Merely disconnect by ignorance and fear,

But not merely,

Our disconnection has caused destruction,

It is mirrored in the calloused way many regard the Mother,

Picking her flowers and polluting her waters,

Killing her young and ancient alike,

Asking that this cease isn’t enough,

Because the problem lies within us,

Within the sisterhoods that we’re swallowed by time,

Swallowed by crimes,

Crimes of men whom feared the power,

The power deriving from the ultimate flower,

Unaware that this power wants to be shared,

Shared with the masculine that proves to be grown,

The one whom can hold his own and provide space,

Space for her energy to glow,

Flow and grow,

The ancient ones knew,

They provided red tents for us during our moons,

Brought us food and provided protection,

In exchange for the magic connection,

One we must reignite,

By joining hands in shadow and in light,

The integration begins when the sisters reunite.


By Mac Guerreiro

Please be patient with me,
Eye know it’s not easy,
My emotions are big and they hurt when they crash,
Eye’m sorry to bring you into that,
You’re the safest place eye’ve ever know,
Not because you fail to challenge me,
But because you see my soul,
Even when eye want to hide it most,
It’s cracked and broken,
Light missing here and there,
But you don’t seem to care,
You talk to it kindly,
You encourage it to grow,
And you never fail to let me know,
How much you enjoy the show,
Eye didn’t know eye needed that,
The mirroring eye never received when it counted most,
You just did it from the get-go,
Eye hope eye give you what you need,
Hopefully that’s why Eye’m whom you’re choosing,
Eye’m sorry it’s hard to see,
Please don’t give up on me.


By Mac Guerreiro

It’s as if the wires are crossed,
Can’t seem to straighten them out,
On one hand eye want to be ultimately what pleases you,
On the other,
Eye want to be me and proud,
The battle eye’ve fought since birth,
That’s what it feels like,
Catches up with me at every turn in this life,
That’s the word,
And parts of me suggest that such a feeling is absurd,
Because “me” is supposedly enough,
But it’s not,
And that’s my opinion,
Eye know,
But Eye’m having the hardest time letting it go,
The desire to hide myself till perfectly presentable,
Is just one example,
But a powerful one,
That burns in my mind,
It doesn’t leave me alone,
Eye already had so many feelings around my “presentation,”
Further perpetuated by my lack of options,
Even still the desire for a solution is all-consuming,
As close to a solution as eye can get,
My mind can’t help but remind me,
Hard as eye may try,
Eye’ll never be exactly “it.”


By Mac Guerreiro

Eye resist the urge to look them up,
Why look to what eye could never be?
Just when Eye’m getting comfortable,
Comfortable being me,
“Foolish girl”
Foolish indeed,
Thinking you can escape the chains of this society,
Its mentality,
It’s rules,
And boundaries,
Foolish indeed to resist,
Now it feels impossible to persist.


By Mac Guerreiro

Sometimes this all feels temporary yet more temporary than most things,
Sometimes it feels like borrowed time,
Sweet, sweet time it is yet borrowed nonetheless,
Voices shyly whisper in the depths, reminding me of my fears,
Their whispers let me know Eye’m not here,
Burrowed in my head eye come up for air, yet Eye’m still neck-deep in despair.


By Mac Guerreiro

Find me at the core,
The places surrounded by folklore,
Find me in the moon,
From her fullest to the new,
Find me when you’re not looking,
For you won’t otherwise,
When you look too closely you’ll fall for my disguise,
The one eye’ve been forced to forge,
As to hide from those seeking to harm,
Those whom cannot love without leaving scars,
Hidden in plain sight,
If you see me outright,
Eye’ll gift you with ancient insight.
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