Always

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye am calling,
Do you hear me?
Eye am calling,
Through my waters,
My skies,
In the birds’ cries,
Eye call to You,
To sniff every flower,
To enjoy every one of my showers,
Be it warm in your home,
Or standing on my ground,
Eye call you to breathe in every sound,
Every sight,
Both mine and what’s projected in your mind’s eye,
Feel every touch,
And with it feel yourself clutch,
To the body you chose,
For eye can help You transpose,
The frequencies you brought from the great unknown,
To this being you call home,
Through my mountains,
My seas,
My forests,
My gentle breeze,
Eye remind you of your soul,
Of turning lead into gold,
Using the Phoenix fire that is your heart,
You turn your hardships into art,
And find me in your truest parts,
Recognize that we are the same,
My hurricanes reminiscent of your worst days,
My showers,
Macro versions of your cries,
Eye am you through different eyes,
As is all that surrounds,
Eye am calling always,
Answer me when you’re ready to be found. 

The Start

By Mac Guerreiro

Feeling myself,
Hearing myself,
Being my Self,
It’s about fucking time isn’t it?
And yet,
This journey is infinite

Honey

By Mac Guerreiro

Honey on your lips,
Honey like me,
Drink and we’ll see,
Succeed to be bound,
Success brings the heavenly sounds. 

Eye Refuse

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye don’t understand,

Eye can’t understand,

Eye refuse to,

How one can can hurt void of remorse and walk free,

Although that seems to be the history,

In all honesty,

Well when does it stop?

When the souls of his victims begin to rot from inside?

Because the one who harmed them gets to roam outside?

With support from so many others who turn a blind eye,

It’s come to a time in which eye can’t separate my pain from theirs,

This could happen to any of us,

Anywhere,

Yet no one seems to care,

Not enough to say enough,

Not enough to put in effort,

Not enough to hold canceling to its name,

Well eye refuse to be the same,

Some will look at me with disdain,

A mocking glance at best,

Because on this topic eye refuse to rest,

Woman were hurt,

Are being hurt,

Are being SCARRED,

Because as a society we’re cowards,

So mock me,

Call me stupid,

Do whatever you’re gonna do,

Meanwhile eye’ll keep fighting for this world to be safe for #metoo.

Free

By Mac Guerreiro

To see you this way,

Your body barely able to carry your weight,

It makes me wish to say,

“It’s okay,

You can go now,

Be on your way”

You taught me so much,

Taught us,

Taught us how to love,

It seems that you all do that,

You choose your students,

And along for the ride we go,

What a hell of a ride it is,

To have intertwined my life with his,

Till the day when the lessons are learned,

When our road is done,

And off you are to be One,

Your chosen form never gone,

Because in our hearts you live on,

Eye thought it would be harder because you’re going away,

Eye see now,

It’s harder to watch you stay,

But it’s just one more day,

One more night,

Thank you for waiting for me before taking flight,

Eye will always carry your light,

Within me it glows,

Through my actions it shows,

Eye’m so grateful to have been one of the ones you chose.

The Way

By Mac Guerreiro

We meet and we part,

That’s the way,

Yet the parting need not reach the heart,

For the core knows no bounds,

Space and time can’t keep its power at bay,

And so even through the way,

We are given a chance to stay.

Anxious Insight

By Mac Guerreiro

Eye’m starting to see,

Eye’m starting to see how this isn’t about me,

How a trail of hurt has left you scarred,

How for you this “relationship thing” is already hard,

Eye’ve been feeling wronged,

Because if roles were flipped forgiveness would have already been a given,

Bringing you closer to me once again would have been the only decision,

But the thing is that eye can see who you are,

Even in moments when eye feel that we’re apart,

And then eye check myself and ask,

“What is the image in the mirror he is holding?”

He shows me the unforgiving ice queen,

The aspect in me who can only see,

A reject or be rejected scenario,

And it’s then that my heart softens just a little,

Eye can understand what might be his intention,

In spite of the hurt from not being extended any compassion,

And the sting of not being given a well-deserved benefit of the doubt,

All of the anger is gone

And eye’m left with just the undeniable void that forms when his energy opts out,

It sits in my chest like a vacuum of sorts,

And eye feel trapped because reaching out is a last resort,

You see,

We’re not so different after all,

When eye feel rejected like this,

It takes monumental happenings to push me to make the first call,

That’s not to say eye’m not an ever-shifting ball of anxiety,

One moment fine,

The next curled up and crying,

Hoping the phone will ring and it’ll be him calling,

And eye know that eye’d come running,

Even not knowing what the best option could be,

Getting close again would be my first priority,

As eye write eye can’t help but see,

How the knowing that he’ll read this is impacting me,

Feeling more vulnerable than usual,

Eye’ll tap the final keys,

Eye hope eventually even in anger and rage,

You figure out a way to see me.

Sisters

By Mac Guerreiro

There used to be many of us,

Eye supposed we are all still here,

Merely disconnect by ignorance and fear,

But not merely,

Our disconnection has caused destruction,

It is mirrored in the calloused way many regard the Mother,

Picking her flowers and polluting her waters,

Killing her young and ancient alike,

Asking that this cease isn’t enough,

Because the problem lies within us,

Within the sisterhoods that we’re swallowed by time,

Swallowed by crimes,

Crimes of men whom feared the power,

The power deriving from the ultimate flower,

Unaware that this power wants to be shared,

Shared with the masculine that proves to be grown,

The one whom can hold his own and provide space,

Space for her energy to glow,

Flow and grow,

The ancient ones knew,

They provided red tents for us during our moons,

Brought us food and provided protection,

In exchange for the magic connection,

One we must reignite,

By joining hands in shadow and in light,

The integration begins when the sisters reunite.

Testing Grounds

By Mac Guerreiro

Slide,
As low as you can,
Eye’ll remain where eye am,
And the effort it takes is no joke,
But what good would it do if eye spoke?
The courage is lacking,
The honesty even more so,
Missing both is a recipe for stunting growth,
When growth is the name of my game,
That kind of energy can drive me insane,
And it has,
But now we’re done with that,
Time to let go of the past. 

Waves

By Mac Guerreiro

It hits me fast and hard,
“How fucking lucky are you?”
And eye am,
SO SO SO,
Blessed,
The love in my life is the best,
From all fronts,
No questions asked,
And it hit me again,
Something new,
Something eye hadn’t seen,
The love is just mirroring me,
And eye couldn’t stop crying,
Tears of all kinds from all sides,
The broken spirit of my infancy,
The teen whom never felt seen,
The seven year-old who just wanted to share her art,
My heart,
It comes in waves,
Someday this feeling will stay. 

N8

By Mac Guerreiro

You laugh when Eye’m myself,
You admit you need my help,
You enjoy all that eye am,
Even when eye can’t,
You show me what it is to grow,
You remind me that you know,
Just how capable eye can be,
Of keeping you beside me,
A reminder eye need more often than eye’d like,
You don’t judge me,
You just hold my light,
In your strong and gentle hands,
Thank you for being my man. 

POS

By Mac Guerreiro

Trying to be kind,
Trying,
Trying to remind myself eye can,
Trying,
But it’s not working,
Nothing works. 

Still

By Mac Guerreiro

Stand still and clench your jaw till it hurts,
Stand still because you don’t have words,
The words you have will only detonate,
The words you have will only push him away,
Stand still and crawl out of your skin,
Stand still because you’re scared of losing,
Losing it all,
Losing him,
He says impossible but damn don’t you wanna try,
Just to prove you’re right,
But you don’t really,
It would be the biggest mistake of your life,
So you stand still,
Paralyzed,
Hoping that some way,
Some how,
You do something right,
Something to bring him closer,
Something eye can’t even think of,
Something outside of what is possible for me,
Eye stand still,
Hoping the impossible turns to possibility. 

Rabbit Hole

By Mac Guerreiro

Snip snip,
Slip slip,
Be careful now,
A minor attachment to a little thought,
And you’re going down,
Down down,
Into the rabbit hole,
The one that threatens to steal your soul,
One self hating thought,
That’s all it takes,
And you’re on your way,
Down,
Down,
When eye finally reach the bottom,
Will it make a sound?

ED

By Mac Guerreiro

A dis-ease,
A sneaky one too,
It hides,
Sometimes for so long,
Till it rears again,
And you’re left wondering if you ever healed at all,
Funny how it’s named,
When it’s not about that,
Not one bit,
How am eye back in the heat of it? 

Searching

By Mac Guerreiro

She’s searching for grace,
The grace she can rarely give herself,
The grace that would have helped,
The grace that never came,
And was replaced by shame,
She searches for it,
She doesn’t know it,
But when she finds it she holds on,
She tries to learn before it’s gone.