By Mac Guerreiro
“Why do eye have to break what eye love so much?”
That lyric plays over and over,
Because you’re right,
Eye’ve been pushing and pushing,
Towards a self-fulfilling prophecy,
Determined to be too much,
Till everything proves eye am,
Till he’s reduced to sand,
Today eye was faced with it,
The valid question,
“Do eye want to inflict suffering?”
Parts of me answered yes,
Till they realized what it meant,
And now they’re mortified,
Because they see that no amount of externalizing will fix what’s inside,
And beating you down will only make it worse,
Eye’ve been running around directing my emotions onto you like a curse,
Eye’ve been asking you to validate how eye feel,
When that’s for me to do,
Eye know it’s been almost two years,
Of pushing and beating,
And eye don’t blame you for doubting,
That anything could ever change,
Regardless of where we go or what we are,
Thank you for showing me,
What eye’ve been too blind to see,
Eye hope it’s not too late to start supporting you,
In whatever ways you need me to.
Mystical Mac 