Of an Elephant

By Mac Guerreiro

Ever since eye was a child my memory has been excellent. Given that eye am paying attention, usually eye am, eye remember nearly everything. Over the course of my romantic relationships this has both been a blessing and a curse… although, more of a curse. The reason being that if he says “I’ll call you around 3” you bet your ass eye am now expecting that call, and if it doesn’t arrive around 3 my trauma response gets involved. How do eye explain something like that? “Make sure to mean what you say and say what you mean otherwise eye’ll think you don’t like me anymore?”

What’s crazy making about this memory of an elephant thing is that if the words aren’t uttered then there is no expectation and therefore no disappointment. Eye think eye prefer not knowing and being surprised to an expectation being created. Although, now eye am relying on another to be accurate with their word 100% of the time, which even for the company eye keep around, can be a bit of a ruthless order. Eye’m starting to realize ruthless is a personality that floats around inside of me. She comes out when eye feel the need to really criticize myself and others. She’s also a protector, meaning if it wasn’t for her, eye would never have survived a childhood with a truly ruthless father who didn’t allow for mistakes.

Eye think she doesn’t realize that the impending danger is no longer. Eye’m certain she really needs love. Lastly, eye feel that words matter to her and for a while her healing lies in the follow through or in the absence of the promise.

Published by Mystical Mac

Born in Brazil and raised in California eye am an artist better identified as a conscious creator and intuitive healer. My gift for storytelling in various forms as well as my keen perception into the metaphysical allows me to share my perspective in ways that eye hope are of help and use to those around me. Thank you for reading, listening and watching; it means the world to me.

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