By Mac Guerreiro
In a world where no one wants to feel anything negative and problem solving is so greatly revered (too revered) it’s tough to seek support for just feeling what’s moving through in the present moment. Today didn’t feel great; yes eye was sleep deprived but eye also had a sense of powerlessness wash over me. That’s not my favorite feeling, but eye know that just as all other emotions it deserves to be felt and that’s all eye really wanted to do… allow it to be there.
Before eye go on, let’s remember how Eye’m a recovering people pleaser and in my world, even when stating a personal truth eye still feel that twinge of “did eye hurt their feelings?” Especially if eye feel that said person was put off even slightly by my personal truth/boundary. Today this happened with a person eye care about more than eye can describe. He listened to how eye felt and quickly offered me great solutions… solutions that eye couldn’t be ready for in that moment. Eye did what eye’ve done with my mom (another excellent problem solver in my life), eye let him know that eye get where he’s coming from, but that eye really just needed someone to tell me my feelings are valid. He proceeded to do so and yet eye felt less validated than ever. Eye didn’t know what to say so eye said nothing and soon he decided to go.
The shitty part is sitting here feeling guilty for having put up a boundary… feeling, and eye hate to admit this, a tiny bit abandoned, but unwilling to reach out because eye don’t know what eye’d say. Eye need to feel what moves through, eye need it more than any genius solution. Without the step of being validated and feeling it through all that eye can feel towards a brilliant solution is resentment. Eye communicated my needs as best as eye could in that moment yet it feels that eye did so poorly all the same and that makes me feel powerless in regards to this on top of feeling guilty. Never mind that powerlessness is already a huge theme today.
To end this ranty post eye’ll say this: yes eye can validate my own feelings, but there is a level of comfort and love that comes from being validated by those eye care about most that eye cannot provide for myself.