By Mac Guerreiro
Eye have an eating disorder…. just saying that makes me fear what you think because this broad term has been confined by the eating disorders we’ve grown familiar with. Anorexia, bulimia and even binge eating are the ones you think of when those words are uttered. Well Eye’m neither starving myself nor finishing insane amounts of food only to purge it. What eye am doing is avoiding my feelings and using food as the band-aid, so maybe Eye’m a food addict. Unable to sit with my own emotions, even the scary good ones, eye reach for something to eat. Lots of the time it’s healthy food and yet due to my body’s status of “not hungry” eating said food is more like abuse than nourishment. Eye’ve held shame around this for so long and still do. Feeling powerless to my midnight snacking, writing about it feels like the only thing eye haven’t done to address it. Eye want to feel my feelings, eye want to be able to sit with myself no matter what. Maybe getting this out will help. Thank you for holding space.