By Mac Guerreiro
Eye am an attractive woman… there, eye fucking said it. As eye typed that, a little bit of me protested “that’s opinion, who do you think you are?” BLAH BLAH BLAH. Eye get where she’s coming from, this aspect that feels ashamed to point out that fact. Whooo there she goes again, the word “fact” was the trigger. Eye point out this aspect of myself because she’s the reason this blog post is being written.
For a long time and up until quite recently, eye have turned a blind eye toward my sexual energy and more importantly how it affects those around me. Being around my gay coworkers and their friends has been the encouragement my sensual goddess needed to start her journey out of hiding. You’re probably wondering how that happened and why eye chose to specify “gay coworkers.” Truth be told, no one seems to embrace all of themselves better than the gays and just being around them seems to give one permission to do the same. It’s also helpful that eye have to dress to the nines at work and complements are always floating around me about my dress, makeup, and my favorite, my body.
Now, for someone that just confessed to turning a blind eye to my sex-appeal it may seem backwards to say that body/figure complements are my favorites. Perhaps eye need to specify, when they come from gay men they are. Eye’ve been learning to see myself through their lenses, and in the process realizing that the reason eye chose to look away in the first place was due to my seeing myself through the objectifying eyes of straight men. Bet you didn’t see that coming, or maybe you did.
Yes, eye have my body image issues every now and again, but that usually has more to do with me eating shitty and seeing the bloat manifest in my face and mid section rather than issues with my body itself. My relationship with food is a whole world of topics onto their own which we’ll explore in posts to come. My point is, eye have worked for my body and to have that recognized by men whom have no interest in interacting with it in a sexual way makes the recognition non-debatable.
It’s this way that bit by bit my Sensual Serpentine Queen has been gaining the courage to slither out of her hide. Eye now notice straight men looking, their energy taking note of mine. More than just that, eye FEEL more like a sexual being than eye ever have before. This results in my being much more revering of my sexual energy and of my body in general. It’s a new frontier and the development will continue, but one thing is for sure. This Serpent Queen is done hiding and the coy girl in me is finally ready to accept that.